Sometimes doing what God wants you to do is really hard. Especially when doors just keep shutting in your face left and right. I’ve written before about going to Seminary and how we really feel like that is what we’re supposed to be doing right now. Les graduated last week (hooray!) and since then we’ve been working harder at trying to get things in line. The doors started shutting before then though.
Last Thursday I got on Wake County Schools’ website. I’d been doing it a lot lately, keeping a look out for jobs I might call about after my application was done processing. There were tons of openings Thursday night, but this time the website was different. There has been a hiring freeze placed on Wake County for teachers. Boom, door shut. Right off, I’ll be going to a county where I am already defeated. For the second year in a row, I’ll have to get a job that has nothing to do with my major. My degree that I worked so hard for five years to get, that I felt was what God had called me to be, is basically just going to be a piece of paper–again.
But I was making myself be okay with it, thinking that I had more time to get references now, and that I wouldn’t have to hurry through everything. I also thought about how I wouldn’t have to quit the job I’m going to try to get when we first move. I’d be able to get a job and keep it, instead of having to quit in August to teach. So Les graduated the next day, I was okay with it, and decided to just keep going with getting our ducks in a row.
Today I decided to go ahead and apply for our favorite off-campus housing that we’ve seen, so I called to talk to someone there. No one answered, so I just filled the application out. Ten minutes later, I get a call from the apartment place. Yay, right? No. The guy, who sounded like he had no clue about anything anyway, asks a few questions and finally says, “Well, it says your monthly income is $blah blah blah, is this correct?” I said yes, thinking where is this going? Of course we don’t have much money, we live in Pineville where no one makes big money. He proceeds to tell me we don’t make enough to qualify to live there, so sorry. Boom. Another door closed. Apparently we have to make “3 times the rent” to be able to live here, and we don’t make that. I have a feeling that this isn’t true… but what are we supposed to do? We can’t help that we both work on campus and they only pay minimum wage! We’ve already planned a trip down there at the end of the month. I feel like it’s pointless to go now.
I am just feeling very defeated and discouraged right now. Please pray for us, if you read this.